Tuesday, 10 December 2013


So, I have a potty mouth. It's not something I'm proud of, but it's not really something I'm ashamed of either. I have always been pretty good about "filtering" the naughty words from my vocab when necessary. For example I never tell my students to "shut the @#$% up,"though, I'll admit, I've thought that more than once.  I've always known that eventually, I'd have to clean up my language around Ryder. I have always known that one day, he'd understand and start repeating me...that day has come. Ofcorse, I didn't realize it until it was too late. Until the "f-word" came out of his mouth.  I tried to conceal my shock, I tried not to react in a way that offered too much attention to the scenario and I tried not to laugh!  See, he used it in the right context, with the correct vocal expression and he used it exactly as I would have.  He was eating yogurt from one of those yogurt tubes. I had warned him to "pay attention or your going to end up with yogurt all over your shirt..." sure enough seconds later, he gave that tube a zealous squeeze and yogurt spurted out the top, all over his shirt. "Oops, Mommy, I spilled, " he said looking at me. I was exasperated, but I held it together, simply sighing, replying with, "Grrr, Ryder!!!!!!" Without skipping a beat he followed up my frustrate sigh with a  "for fucks sake!" I was stunned!! What??? Did he just say, "for fucks sake?" Yep, yep he did!!! I mean that is exactly what I say when I'm frustrated.  Apparently I say it a lot! I mean I say it enough that a two year old, not only knows my exact vocal expression, but he knows the exact type of situation that would call for such a phrase!  Oooops!!! (To be clear, I don't say this to Ryder when I am frustrated with him..or do I?? Oh my God! I don't even know anymore!! Ahhhh!)  All I know is that I need to clean up my language ASAP!!! 
Since the yogurt on the shirt incident, he's dropped the "for fucks sake" a few more times. Once in traffic when I was done yelling (cuss free words) at the truck in front of me, I heard a resounding "for fucks sake truck!" from the back seat!  Santa has decided he will not visit if Mommy and Ryder keep using that phrase!! 
I realized recently that when I am shocked or surprised, I have a nasty habit of saying, "shut the fuck up!" In an effort to keep my language a little more G-rated, I've begun replacing that phrase with, "shut the front door!" Ryder has caught on to that one and to hear him use it (so far always appropriately) is hilarious! Today, Payton pulled herself up on the steps (first time ever she's pulled herself to a stand) and I holler, "Guys! Look! Look at Payton she pulled herself up!!!" Ryder matter of factly says: Shut the front door! and starts jumping up and down, clapping!!! 
I see now just how impressionable these little cuties are and I am making it my New Year's resolution to clean up my potty mouth!! About time, eh, Mom???


  1. What? You have a potty mouth? Shut the front door...!